Despite my hiatus, there's been a lot going on behind the posts. Haha, coursework. Have been really proud of my diligence to work on my chair and paintings faithfully. Some mornings, most breaktimes, and nearly after school everyday without fail.
Coursework started out as a chore, indeed. Somehow I was really disturbed by the fact I was spurred on to work due to the want to maintain my grades. How ironic, with the purpose of my art to express and vent my emotions and feelings. There was certainly this period I was terribly upset over why I was doing what I was doing. And I did get over it, thankfully.
I quote linhui, "painting is addictive". Yes, I certainly have to agree with her. And to add on, working on my chair was too. Rather than addiction, should I say, it was more of a meditative process. Doing art really calmed
me down, made me think and focus on the task. Quoting Xindi, " ...as I go along, I find the meaning of my work changing without me consciously trying."
Probably, due to the fact that I wanted to be decisive and quick on my decisions for the piece, I kind of lost track of what I really wanted to do and express. "I wasn't being truthful to myself", I guess. Certainly, not enough. I realized I was too concerned about what I wanted the piece to express on it's entirety, that I forcefully tried to fixate the other individual segments to cater the last piece. And that I was being too extremist on what I was to express- it showed a sense of impossibility which I realized that even I, did not believe it was so. So then, what am I trying to show then?
I started coursework with a mind filled with somewhat convoluted thoughts and ideas, and I had to unpack them in order to move on to my next steps. It was a tough and tiring process, having to review the whole coursework on it's entirety and then into it's details every now and then. Reviewing them made me worried, since even I was unsure of what I was doing. However, this process made me understand what I wanted to do better, and it gave more meaning to the work-- expressing myself in the truest possible manner.
Point to self in the future: start with a clear mind and do not be afraid to clarify self doubts.
Some sneak peaks of the work, I'm certainly not posting the final ones, those will come when they're eventually done:
pretty raw canvases that i chose to paint on.
the tiresome yet fulfilling chore of woodwork
cutting wood
a segment of my painting!
